The Internet Is A Nazi Bar
"Any private thrill was like peeing your pants. Dylan knew to be ashamed of the relief." - Jonathan Letham, 'The Fortress of Solitude'
A Nazi walks into a bar. Swastika arm band, iron cross patches, Kyries—whatever Nazis wear these days. The bartender tells him to get out. When he leaves, two or three punks follow him outside, reinforce the bartender’s message with some fists and the soles of their Doc Martens, and the Nazi never returns to the bar. Call it a Mos Eisley Special, hold the lightsabers.
Or: the Nazi never gets kicked out. The next night, they come back. With their Nazi-ass friends. Now, like it or not, you got a Nazi Bar.
Twitter is a Nazi Bar. Substack is a Nazi Bar.
If you can’t beat people up through a computer screen, is the whole internet a Nazi Bar?
I Would Like To Leave The Nazi Bar
Since Elon Musk’s acquisition of and subsequent rendering-unusable-of Twitter, I’ve gone from “every CEO sucks, stay on here, it’s how you stay in touch with and find new writers/presses/litmags/movies/music/visual artists/etc,” to “the idiots and Nazis and losers are way more visible, but there’s still cool enough people,” to “I will mostly use Bluesky, some Twitter,” to “all Bluesky, Twitter is unusable.” It took a year-ish, felt stupid during, feels stupid as I rehash.
Who feels like going through that with explicitly-totally-fine-with-Nazis Substack?
My thing is, I hate tucking and running. Let the dorks write their Warhammer Trump fanfic in their own sick little corners. I’ll be over here, being cool. Some people stopped following the NBA in 1999 because the players got tattoos/weren’t Michael Jordan anymore/weren’t John Stockton anymore. I still like basketball. Leftists hate AOC now because she isn’t personally stopping Joe Biden from sending arms to Israel. I’d rather have a socialist in Congress than not.
There always comes a tipping point, though. Twitter hit it for me personally around July 2023, Substack hit it when Hamish McKenzie (name and shame this scumbag) said “eh, whaddya gonna do? Certainly we’re not going to treat the nazis as badly as we treat sex workers.”
Spoiler: I’m leaving Substack, but not right away. Faster’n I left Twitter, though.
Pros of Substack, As I See It
Substack is great for a few reasons: super idiot-proof interface/bells&whistles, community built around blogs, monetization opportunities. But I’ve never defined myself as a Substack writer, nor have I thought of the people I like here as Substack writers.
& got laid off and wanted to write elsewhere. That’s how I really got into Substack. From there, I found other writers I like: writes about sports in ways I’m not sure anywhere established will let you. is a Weird Internet throwback. & do political writing in a way that resonates with me. and write the best advice columns on the internet. & are doing cool stuff with actual fiction and poetry, while people like & & & & & countless others do such varied and interesting things under the broad topic of “writing craft” that I, a lonely writer sitting in a home office being poked by a cat, can almost pretend I have coworkers.It’s a cool place, but is it enough to shake the Nazi Bar vibes? Especially when these brilliant people come straight to my inbox anyway?
One thing I kept thinking about was how these tech brands become personality shorthand. “Soundcloud rapper.” “Ford or Chevy.” “Android guy with green text messages.” I’m a Fender guitar player. Thankfully, Leo Fender never learned to play guitar, so he couldn’t record songs like “Free Speech Absolutist” or “That Himmler Fella Seemed Fine When We Were Roomies At Dartmouth” or whatever. Then I’d have to buy Ibanez. That’s the thing: I’d still be a guitar player.
I don’t mind being a blogger or a newsletter writer. In fact, I love it. I’d rather you think of me as a novelist and poet, but I’m a little short on publications to earn that title yet. I would shrivel up and die of embarrassment if anyone ever called me a “Substack writer.”
Leaving Substack, As I See It
Other Substackers get paid to do this. Some of them even get monthly coins from me! I’ve never asked for your money here. One advantage to not making money off my Substack: the decision to migrate isn’t all that hard. Logistics, tho. My main concerns:
no interruptions or annoyances for you, the reader (besides this one)
maintaining community somehow
keeping my archive
The first, I think, will be easy to solve. The second, I hope, will follow naturally. The third is what motivates me to say “fuck off” to Substack, but carefully. See, the Shipwrecked Sailor Blog is part of Lazy & Entitled Productions, and Lazy & Entitled is eventually going to ask you for some money. We’re gonna make more books & records & podcasts & YouTube videos—we’re gonna put in a shitload more work before we ask for money—and when that time comes? You’re not going to want to give your money to Nazi-sympathizing Substack, and you’re not gonna want to pay for something you were already getting for free without being able to reference the stuff you were already getting for free.
But as Quincy Jones says:
Brendan and I are still working on it, but we’re building an L&E website. The blog will move there when that site is built. You could argue that this post needed only to be this paragraph and the next, but I wanted to explain why I’m leaving, why I’m not quite leaving yet, and why I’m not super judging anyone who doesn’t leave.
What This Means For You, The Reader
Unlike other Substackers, I didn’t spend my son’s winter holiday break researching other newsletter companies’ various sweets and sours. I’m going to keep publishing here, normal schedule. When the alternative is built, I’ll migrate my email list over there. You won’t have to change a thing, except you’ll have to learn a different website name if you want to visit the page directly. I’ll of course post something here about it.
Hamish McKenzie and all other mealy-mouthed passive Nazi supporters: eat shit. See you Friday.
Sorry you got an email,
Chris
Some established places do let me write like that, but hey, I will take the compliment. Thanks Chris!
I’ve got to do an actual recommendations list and include you as well as the more serious stuff I do. Really appreciate the support and thoughtful read here.