The Writer Who Buried Treasure

"After sawing myself in half / half of me moves to the woods // and buries itself / in a heap of leaves." - Zachary Schomburg, "The Sawing In Half"

Dec 06, 2023

But first, I got a poem published! I am thrilled to be included in the inaugural edition of kicking your ass, a new literary magazine/literary complaint department/literary beatdown. Many thanks to my dear friend Adrian Sobol, Editor-In-Chief of kicking your ass, for publishing this excerpt from my long poem, “you will be more safe not in this place.”

Is there a more difficult discipline to follow casually than history? History is a fascinating subject, one I’ve enjoyed since middle school, and high on the list of “genre of podcast/YouTube video I want to check out.” The problem is, a lot of Nazis, War-Humpers, Guys Who Aren’t Racist But The Data Says…, and Guys Who Aren’t Pessimists But Are Realists also like history, and make a lot of this pop history content.

It is difficult, then, to express interest in an exhibit called “First Kings of Europe” without sounding like some buy-gold Boomer Dad with the Band of Brothers box set who voted for Bush over Gore because of “balance.” As a staunch anti-monarchist and avowed democratic socialist, I am interested, though, in how exactly Europeans came to build this awful system, and subsequently infect the rest of the world with it. How did we get here? Is social stratification as inevitable as some think?

The First Kings (Exhibit)

First, the cool stuff: this exhibit features artifacts never before displayed outside their home country, and was made in partnership with curators from the countries of origin. Like the Death exhibit, it’s well-crafted, with attention and care paid to the narrative made by putting those artifacts in that order.

four copper axe heads — for instance, I personally don’t always think about how bright copper gleamed. On the right are original artifacts, dimmed by time, and on the left are models of what they would’ve looked like in actuality

You might be able to guess how the arc of the narrative from the Neolithic up to the Roman Empire bends in Europe. People start out in small, relatively equal settlements. Technology is developed, trade routes are uncovered, the results of both increase inequality. Eventually, we get a ~~monstrous, avarice-ridden cesspool~~ fully developed Europe, ruled by inbred freaks and bros named George or Richard or whatever. This is not an exhibit where you say no spoilers, this is an exhibit where you follow the journey.

museum plaque reading 'were there LGBTQ people in the Ancient Balkans? Yes, of course, but they wouldn't have said "LGBTQ"—that's a modern term. In some ancient cemeteries, archaeologists observed patterns in how men and women were buried. For example, axes are usually found with skeletons identified by archaeologists as "male." But recent reinterpretations of some graves—such as "female" skeletons found with axes—contradict those patterns. These graves suggest that ancient people understood that sex, sexuality, and gender identity are more complicated than just "male" and "female." — they *did* know about queer people in the Neolithic, and nothing bad ever happened to LGBTQ+ people in the Balkans ever again

We, As Humans, Are Bad At Thinking About Things For 10 Seconds

I understand a flex. I’ve been broke, then I’ve had seemingly-miraculous good things happen. A friend comes through with a line on a good job. A situation you weren’t sure about turns out to be the best thing to happen to you. In these situations, I’ll absolutely believe in that brief moment of elation’s ability to last forever. “I’ll never be broke again,” I think after a single freelance paycheck hits, scheming to treat myself immediately.

Ancient people were about as forward-thinking as me, but, like, on a societal level. We have these artifacts because people were perpetually as squirrels preparing for winter, but with half the smarts.

museum plaque reading 'what they buried reflected their prestige. Over time, ancient farming societies started to become more unequal. Leaders used their fledgling power to amass copper, gold, carnelian, and other precious materials. Sometimes they buried their treasure—but not necessarily to hide it. They buried it to show just how wealthy they were: enough to toss gold into the ground' — literally these piles of buried goods were called ‘hoards’

This bit of information gnawed at Mal and me—parents of a public school child on free and reduced lunch—how do you bury stuff just to show off? Let’s not pretend we as 21st century USians are the morally better people, less wasteful than those idiot ancients, but still, I’ve been drilling “turn lights off if you’re in the room” into my kid since before he could reach the switch. Food waste makes me itch. Not to mention, even though I’ve already mentioned it a few paragraphs ago, I’ve been broke before.

carving of what looks like four rowhouses on top of a hill with holes dug out of the center — ancient rowhouses, or an accurate metaphor for my bank account?

You, reading this right now, might be broke. My social media feeds are full of mutual aid requests. If you’re reading this on a day, someone within your six degrees of separation is getting laid off right now.

And now you know that kings, for as long as there have been kings, have been lighting money on fire.

Are Leftists Denying Our Programming?

Manosphere streamers and evangelical Christians love to talk about “natural orders.” The husband is the head of the family, the ruler is the father of the nation—that was an explicit idea in Germany for a while, but is also infused throughout Western civilization. Are monarchs or strongmen rulers inevitable? I don’t think so, but I understand how some people’s imagination fails there.

a stone statue of a human figure and a bull figure, believed to be used to Neolithic worship — our imaginations really failed when we stopped having bull deities, but that’s another column

Not everyone is built to be the boss, I’m certainly not built to be the boss, and while I’m no fan of bosses, I understood and agreed with their utility until very recently. Grantland doesn’t happen without Bill Simmons, but Defector is humming along just fine, you know? Plus, people at Defector still write, instead of bitching about cancel culture on podcasts.

museum plaque text reading 'their warriors became pawns. Bronze-clad warriors still held a special status, but they were not necessarily in charge any longer. Instead, they often served at the command of the new royals—becoming tools that the elite used to grow, consolidate, and enforce their power.' — the invention of what Run The Jewels so memorably called the “man behind the man behind the man behind the throne”

Natural leaders exist. People wanting different things out of life will ensure some societal inequality until the end of time. But I don’t think we need leaders and rulers as much as we think we do. We certainly don’t need as much stuff. At least, we don’t need the wealthy, the status class, the idle rich, the elite—and we don’t need markers of such status, like Teslas, or McMansions, or the kind of furniture-that-doubles-as-asset-holdings the St. Louis Gun Couple had. I’m a person who believes in Big Government, who believes in regulations and guardrails and Living In A Society—and Living In A Society requires participating, and requires taking care of each other. If I were a Youth Pastor, right about now I’d get a real far-off look in my eye, then turn and make direct eye contact with you, and say something like, “we don’t need rulers, we need leaders,” and then I’d lead us in prayer before anything wrong with that sentence had a chance to crowd out what feels right about it. Then I’d repeat “we don’t need rulers, we need leaders” bunch during the prayer, so it got stuck in your head. Here’s Run The Jewels.

Desiring Fancy Things Makes Us Unequal

Don’t take this as an admonishment for desiring fancy things. I like to think of myself as a not-fancy person, disdainful of antique furniture, houses with more bedrooms than people, and Met Galas. But how true is that, in the United States? How much can I actually say I disdain fanciness when I treat my wedding ring/watch/bracelet collection as extra appendages, when I own cookbooks and try to impress people with dishes I make, when I rely so much on the internet for my work?

one of those ancient-style necklaces that would, like, cover a woman's neckline if she was wearing an evening gown — I like jewelry, ancient people like jewelry, how far have we really come

I don’t believe we all need to be locust-eating ascetics or go back to pre-Industrial times or whatever. But I am a person who thinks about enough a lot. I am a person who thinks there are people who need this thing I am throwing away. I am a person who cheers for the scrap metal dudes whenever they drive through my alley. The thought of these Bronze Age meatheads burying things because they were so overcome with abundance is difficult to bear.

Think of Elon Musk, one of the museum plaques urged me.

Way the hell ahead of you, museum plaque.

How Can We Tie All This Back To Writing

Try to reject the urge to “bury because you can.” I’m not saying “publish all your first drafts, the world deserves to hear your genius!” What I mean is, let’s say you’re stuck on a poem/novel/story that you’re not totally happy with. Maybe you still need more time to get to know the work, idk, I don’t know, I do not not know your problems. What I do know is that being stuck in incredibly frustrating, demoralizing, enraging. Without saying “always be on your grind,” I’ll say that being stuck in your work is a good time to focus on other things. You, the writer, have something to offer besides finishing writing. Instead of burying your talents in a depression/rage, go read a book. Go read a lit mag and then post about it on social media. Call up a friend and see if they need help with their WIP. Or, idk, volunteer at a soup kitchen, tutor some kids, knock doors for your local socialist political candidate.

After you’ve directed your energy elsewhere, I bet you feel like writing. After all, one advantage to a stratified society is that you get to write for a living, sometimes.

museum plaque reading 'their craftspeople were skilled artisans. As societies became larger and more complex, there were enough people participating in the economy that an individual needed fewer skills to survive. Craftspeople and artisans were able to specialize and became masters of their crafts. They created jewelry and adornments for the elite using gold, silver, glass, bronzes, and more. — one day, a museum will say this about *your* fan fiction!

Sorry you got an email,

Chris

shipwrecked sailor

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