What Makes This Song Rip: Chon & "Waterslide"
"River god laughing at the water that tickles him" - Henri de Régnier, quoted in the score of "Jeux D'eau" by Maurice Ravel
Last National Poetry Month, we close read some poems. Recently, I’ve been looking at albums I loved in high school. The most recent crop of those turned a little shame-filled and maybe mean. So I thought it might be nice to close-read some songs I really like. Talk about why I think they are cool.
Breaking this into sub-categories—it worked at Cracked, it works for The Line Break, and it’s a good way to organize thoughts. Most chord progressions are four chords, so we’ll do four categories: general vibe, structure, chords, and moments of sublime. Those all make sense at face value right? Thanks, readers, I knew I could trust you.
First song? Chon’s “Waterslide.” You knew this was coming.
General Vibe
Summer. Ocean waves you can hear from the skate park but maybe not see. Some sort of drink with lots of ice and lime. A summer afternoon that, when the sun starts to set, you realize oh yeah it’s like 8:30 damn the sun sets so late in the summer. Yo is Ryan having a party tonight? We should go to Ryan’s place. You wanna get stoned and play Dr. Mario first? Siiiiiick but dude I am going to try to talk to Emily at the party tonight so we can’t forget to go. What’s that? Yes we can go kayaking tomorrow.
Structure
Way to earn your title. This song flows from riff to riff seamlessly, never feeling like “here’s a loose collection of cool stuff we wrote that’s hard to play so you know we’re good at guitars.” Chon structures their guitars like the left and right hand of a piano—low and high notes far apart then closer together, chords and countermelodies intertwining, and maybe the coolest thing: the intro (:37 - :47 and 1:13 - 1:34 in the video) is a 16-bar phrase, but it doesn’t simply repeat itself. It’s not a solo, though—it’s a riff. One guitar goes from chords to harmonies, and then both are into some hybrid picking wildness that glides up and down notes like, y’know.
By the two-minute mark, we’ve gone into what Mark Hoppus would deem “the slow, pretty part.” But even that’s not the only slow pretty part (2:50). There are kinda two bridges, without the song feeling like it’s veering too far off from the chorus. There is always momentum.
We loop back to the main riff (would it be the chorus? Sure!) and we’re out in four minutes. This is a perfect four-minute song because I honestly thought it was a three-minute song. Nothing is wasted, nothing feels overindulgent. It just tells its story and then ends on a descending slowdown into a ringing A6. What more could you ask?
Chords
Oooooh let’s talk about that 6th chord. If a chord is the 1-3-5 of a scale (C-E-G in the key of C, the worst key), then a 6th chord would have the notes C-E-G-A. Funnily enough, so would an A minor 7 chord, the relative minor of the key. But a 6th chord, despite having all the minor notes, is played with a major root note. It’s like it’s both major and minor at the same time. 6th chords are fucking rad! Wait until I have an excuse to talk about 69 chords.
Another progression of note is the intro/chorus goes IV - V - I - vi, or A - B - E - C#m (I tend to think of this song in E, although it feints towards A quite a bit. Keys are more like guidelines than anything. Like “Hey Joe” is in E but only two of its chords are diatonic. Diatonic means “in key.” Can you see why I’m not an actual music journalist?)
Anyway, that VI - V - I - iv prog is a TRAP. Go ahead, start playing it. Doesn’t it feel like a merry-go-round that’s not going too fast, but you still can’t get off?
Brendan and I tried to write a song with that prog one time and got stuck in a loop for hours. Eventually, we got out, and the finished song made it to our ska album. But we were stuck like one of Lassie’s friends down a well. Kudos to Chon for getting out so cleanly.
Moments of Sublime
That part in the intro/chorus where they hit that high chord—it’s a the “Burnt Jamb” chord, a D major 7 going 7th fret-7th fret-9th fret on the three strings—before falling back down the scale. The first time you hear it is at :45 in the video. LOVE that chord.
Any time one guitar is playing something and then the other guitar jumps in and harmonizes. God I love guitar harmonies.
That rocks-against-aluminum-siding snare drum at 1:13, then the way Nathan adds the ride cymbal at 1:18.
The snare tone throughout.
The energy behind the snare fill at 1:39.
The bass going nuts when the guitars switch to ringing chords between 1:34 - 1:56. This was Chon’s first record without longtime bassist Drew Pelisek. If there’s one gripe I have about this perfect record? I think the bass could be turned up a bit. Session musician Anthony Crawford plays on this record and absolutely kills it, but it took me a few listens to really hear what he’s doing. Let’s give Anthony Crawford some love, here’s Chon playing “Petal” live and it leads into an Anthony Crawford bass solo that rips (he was playing live with them for the album release in LA).
Back to “Waterslide:” the half-time riff at 2:23. Jesus sacrificed himself on the cross so you could have that riff. That riff is why I called this section “moments of sublime.” We’re always chasing perfect moments in music and this is one of them.
Speaking of chasing moments—Erick’s wrong note beginning to his solo at 2:51. Apparently that chromatic run at 2:59 makes Mario crack up every time he hears it. You gotta have fun with music, especially if you’re about to rip a guitar solo. Guitar solos are inherently self-indulgent and could stand to be taken down a peg. The Chon boys are out here to have fun with it.
WRAP IT UP B
That’s my favorite front-to-back song on my favorite record. It’s been my favorite record since I first heard it in 2017. I usually have favorite records last anywhere between three and 10 years, idk, haven’t thought too much about the timeline. If someone were to ask me “what’s your favorite band like” I would play them “Waterslide.” There’s a skateboarding and Super Smash Bros-playing dog in the video. There’s a pool party in the video. Mario has a purple flower guitar in the video. D.C. al Coda (that’s musician for go back and repeat again) to the “General Vibe” section.
This song rips.
Sorry you got an email,
Chris